Believing myths about therapy can get in the way of seeking help.

Look over these common myths to see if any are holding you or a loved one back from getting the support you need.

Myth 1: Therapy is only for ‘crazy’ people.

Reality: Because life can be difficult and psychological stress is a natural response to difficult experiences, almost everyone would benefit from therapy at some point in their lives. Each year in the US, approximately 15% of adults experience major depression and 19% of adults experience an anxiety disorder¹. Most adults also experience at least one traumatic event at some point in their lives. Therapy can reduce the psychological impact of stressful life experiences and help you lead a more fulfilling life.

Myth 2: People who go to therapy are weak.

Reality: Some people are taught to believe that talking about feelings is a sign of weakness. In truth, the opposite is often closer to reality. Because negative emotions are painful and change is hard, engaging in therapy requires both bravery and strength. Going to therapy sometimes requires a willingness to go through what may feel like hell to find a way out. It is a lot harder to change than to stay the same. A trained therapist can provide you the support you need to balance acceptance and change to build a better life.

Myth 3: It’s normal to feel depressed and anxious, so therapy isn’t needed.

Reality: Everyone experiences negative emotions, such as fear, sadness, disappointment, or anger. Often, these experiences pass within a few hours or days. Sometimes they stick around for much longer. Being stuck in a negative headspace is a good reason to seek psychological help.

Myth 4: Going to therapy won’t help if I am stressed out for a good reason.

Reality: The goal of therapy is not to get rid of stress or to feel good about a bad experience or situation; it is to cope with stressful situations in the healthiest way possible.

Myth 5: Talking won’t help my life be less stressful.

Reality: Talking about emotions is only a small part of what makes therapy effective. When you talk with a professional about your emotions, you will gain a deeper understanding of the reasons you think and feel the way you do. You will also learn strategies to think about and respond to your stressors differently. Understanding yourself and knowing how to make changes when things aren’t working for you can make a significant difference in your quality of life.

Myth 6: Talking won’t change anything.

Reality: You have likely tried everything you can think of to change your stressful situation. That doesn’t mean you’ve tried everything that is possible.  Talking with someone with a different perspective (particularly someone with advanced training in effective problem-solving) can help you identify different possibilities for change.

Myth 7: Going to therapy means what I am feeling isn’t normal.

Reality: What you’re feeling is probably very normal, especially given your past experiences. One of the healing components of therapy is that it can help people understand just how normal their emotional experiences are. Common stressful experiences and emotions can still be overwhelming and difficult to cope with effectively.

Perhaps you never had a chance to learn how to deal with experiences that are this stressful. A therapist can help you learn more effective coping strategies. Maybe you no longer have access to strategies that helped you manage stress in the past. A therapist can help you figure out alternatives when your previous strategies are no longer available or aren’t working as well as before.

Myth 8: Going to therapy means it’s my fault I am suffering.

Reality: Just because there’s a way to ease your suffering doesn’t mean it’s your fault or that you’re choosing to suffer. No one chooses to suffer. We are hard wired to avoid pain and suffering. Even when people do things that appear to be causing themselves suffering, it is often because, at one point, that behavior was critical to avoiding some even greater threat.

Myth 9: Therapy doesn’t work.

Reality: There is overwhelming scientific evidence that many forms of psychotherapy significantly improve life satisfaction and mood. Scientifically proven therapies exist for psychological stress related to depression, anxiety, trauma, insomnia, nightmares, addiction, problematic substance use, mood disorders, psychosis, eating disorders, anger, chronic pain, chronic health problems, and general stress. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), and Problem Solving Therapy (PST) are just a few psychotherapies that have strong scientific support for effectively reducing psychological suffering.

Myth 10: If you need couple therapy, it’s already too late.

Reality: Even the strongest relationships can be difficult at times. There are multiple scientifically supported interventions for improving relationship satisfaction through improving communication and emotional and physical intimacy. A few empirically proven couple therapy approaches are Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT), Emotion-Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT), and the Gottman Method. Learn more about ways couple therapist conceptualize relationship problems here.

Myth 11:  Talking about my feelings will make them worse.

Reality: While therapy often requires being willing to think and talk about difficult experiences and emotions, a qualified therapist can help you navigate those experiences in ways that improve your overall wellbeing within a relatively short period of time. Therapy can be a bit like breaking a bone that didn’t heal correctly to allow it to heal more effectively. A skilled therapist will not lead you through intense emotional pain without ensuring you have the coping skills needed to do so safely. Any increase in emotional pain should be time-limited and followed by steady improvement as you heal in a healthier way.

Myth 12: If I ignore my negative feelings, they’ll eventually go away.

While it may seem like it at first, avoiding talking about negative thoughts and feelings doesn’t make them go away, it often makes them bigger and more frequent. Research shows that avoiding talking about painful experiences and feelings does significantly more harm than talking about them with a trusted person or professional. It can be a huge relief to share emotional burdens and experiences with others, especially if they validate your experiences. Sharing your emotional experiences can also help you get different perspectives and identify new solutions to difficulties.

Myth 13: Therapy will change who I am.

Reality: Therapy should help you be truer to who you are by helping you overcome barriers to being who you want to be and doing what is important to you. Good therapy focuses on helping you achieve your own personal goals, rather than those identified by other people or society.

Myth 14: Therapy takes a long time to work.  

Reality: While some can benefit from long-term therapy, many therapies work in three months or less. Problem-solving therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) can significantly reduce symptoms in as little as one month. Many treatments for depression, anxiety, and trauma can resolve problematic symptoms in as few as three months.

Myth 15: Therapy is expensive.  

Reality:

Many health insurance plans offer at least some coverage for psychotherapy, leaving you with a copay between $0 and $50. If you don’t have mental health coverage, but you have out of network coverage or a health savings account, you can often use those to have a lower out-of-pocket cost for therapy. For out-of-network benefits, you would pay the provider their full rate and submit a superbill (receipt) to your insurance, who would reimburse you 40-80% of the cost of therapy.

Larger clinics and universities often offer therapy at an income-based (sliding) fee, or even free for those who do not have the means to pay for therapy.

An often unacknowledged benefit of therapy is that it can improve your overall health and reduce your risks of developing costly chronic physical health problems. Couple therapy can also improve partners’ emotional well-being and is much less costly than a divorce.

Is therapy right for me?

Now that you’ve explored what therapy is not, you may be wondering whether or not it could help you or a loved one. To learn more about how therapy might be helpful for you, read my recent post “Do I Need Therapy?” or schedule a free intro call.

Works Cited

1. National Alliance on Mental Illness. Mental Health Conditions. NAMI. https://www.nami.org/about-mental-illness/mental-health-conditions/. Accessed August 1, 2025.
2. National Institute of Mental Health. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). NIMH. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd. Accessed August 1, 2025.